I'm going to rape someone's good day.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
