I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Also, beer. Big fan.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
