Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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