I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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