Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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