last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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