I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
