I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
