I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
