I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
