one might say we're banned from that church
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Terrible idea I love it
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
