i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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