don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
worst night to have a conscience
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
