Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
