he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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