Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
