Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
