eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
