i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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