Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
