You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
