I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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