It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
