Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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