honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
