Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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