I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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