our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
