'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
