the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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