just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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