You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
