I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
