the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
