so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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