CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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