Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
