I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
