32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
