just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
