I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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