Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
