No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Everclear isn't food dammit
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
