And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
