did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
