she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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