i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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