Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
