you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
