What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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