so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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