He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
