Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize