it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
