i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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