Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
