At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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