I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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