Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
