That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
