RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
