I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize