i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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