I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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