i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
