I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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