Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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