so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
