Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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