after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
