Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
