you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
