We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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