I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize