We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
