All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
