i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize