I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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