Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
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