2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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