dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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