i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
