I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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