For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
